No More Christian Nice Guy: When Being Nice–Instead of Good–Hurts Men, Women and Children
by Paul Coughlin
I am skeptical of the every developing syndromes of the modern Western world. Perhaps we have syndrome syndrome (book idea!). So I was a bit suspicious when I saw the title but I was intrigued by a cursory glance through the book and decided to read it.
Whether there is a “Nice Guy Syndrome” or not I’ll leave for others to judge (Robert Glover wrote “No More Mr. Nice Guy” which speaks from a secular perspective). However, it does address a problem among some men which is the passive-aggressive way of dealing with fear and anxiety. In the book, Coughlin encourages men to not assume that others are aware of the deals that we have made with them (especially the spouse) of which they are ignorant. The frustration comes when he doesn’t get what he wants even though he did what he was a good boy.
The book has good advice for men who work from this anxiety-based condition. The contribution that this book makes that is different from Robert Glover’s book is the impact of passive-aggressive behaviors in Christian men and the detrimental affect in the church.
It is a decent book but the real meat is in the last several chapters on how to deal with the behaviors. Early chapters establish the problem of modern culture minimizing the manliness of Jesus (Jesus the Bearded Woman concept popular in many religious circles) and he makes the case to consider the whole masculinity of Jesus in the scriptures and consider Him as the example to follow.
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